Well, since I know only a few of you read this (HELLO!) I can't really say to much in the way of an apology. I'm a dick.
Ehm.
Whaaats new.
OH SNAP.
Art shows. Drowning in art. You want to know why I wasn't blogging? I was painting. srsly.
check that shit out.
Thats about it.
YAY!!
New signature 'I'd rather be painting.' It's true. I would be. What?
Time for some sleep. Love you bitches!!
Friday, April 23, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Black Tar
It's gumming me up inside, I'm clogged with darkness.
I can't express it, it's run through me again and again, red hot, then cooling and holding me, squeezing me, smothering me.
Do you know what its like to wake up in the middle of the night, panicking, gasping for a breath you've lost in the darkness, trying to calm the racing pulse in your ears, swallowing dry mouthfuls of air trying to breathe, to control yourself, only to break down into cold sweats and tears, shaking like a leaf, trembling as your muscles clench and freeze up and relax and go numb all at the same time, no control of your body, to hear the whimpers and realize they're your own?
Do you know what it's like?
Do you?
I don't think you do. If you did, would this be the story we tell about how it all went down?
I think now, that if you did, you wouldn't be dead inside. But you are. Dead or dying.
Have you accepted it yet?
The shell that is your life, cradled around an empty pit.
You wish you were a poet and had words like mine, but all you are is meat to be wasted, blood to run over cold stones and bones to lay out under the sun, and not even carrion scavengers would grace you with their presence.
One day, when I catch my breath, and I calm myself and I can look out into the night again, you'll be dead to me too, as you should be.
I can't express it, it's run through me again and again, red hot, then cooling and holding me, squeezing me, smothering me.
Do you know what its like to wake up in the middle of the night, panicking, gasping for a breath you've lost in the darkness, trying to calm the racing pulse in your ears, swallowing dry mouthfuls of air trying to breathe, to control yourself, only to break down into cold sweats and tears, shaking like a leaf, trembling as your muscles clench and freeze up and relax and go numb all at the same time, no control of your body, to hear the whimpers and realize they're your own?
Do you know what it's like?
Do you?
I don't think you do. If you did, would this be the story we tell about how it all went down?
I think now, that if you did, you wouldn't be dead inside. But you are. Dead or dying.
Have you accepted it yet?
The shell that is your life, cradled around an empty pit.
You wish you were a poet and had words like mine, but all you are is meat to be wasted, blood to run over cold stones and bones to lay out under the sun, and not even carrion scavengers would grace you with their presence.
One day, when I catch my breath, and I calm myself and I can look out into the night again, you'll be dead to me too, as you should be.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Oh, look what I found
Yah that's right! Happy belated birthday gift, Vade, for the last two years -sheepish smile-
Monday, February 15, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
Realization
Its not the company I'll miss so much, because I have loads of friends who love and adore me, its the mind-blowing, body-breaking multi-orgasmning sex I'm going to miss...
Oh priorities, how I adore you.
Oh priorities, how I adore you.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Retail Therapy, Beer and more
Yesterday I had a date with a friend, nothing special, just meet up after work for a beer and shoot the shit since I've been, for lack of a better word, through a rough fucking week. ROUGH, people.
It was nice to go out for a bit, chill, and just hang out, nothing special, no pretenses, no expectations, just fun. FUN. Stress-free FUN. It was epic.
Anyway, February being normally fuck-butting cold, was delightfully balmy yesterday, so I was only wearing a light sweater when I went to my friends the night before, for some post-break-up cuddles, and not being bright, realized that once the sun-goes down it's COLD again. SO I was fucked cause I knew I'd be out late, in a light fall sweater, freezing. So desperate times call for desperate measures and I went to Gap.
Me and Gap have this love hate relationship. They hate to sell clothes that fit me, I hate to shop there, but I love their sales. I mean, I LOVE their sales, I don't know if its like a gap sale spidey sense, but I can go in, find the ONE item on the rack that fits me, and is marked down 98% but I do. Everytime. Case in point. Last night. $90 dollar angora wool blend, marked down to $11.99.
12 DOLLARS FOR AN ANGORA WOOL SWEATER PEOPLE!! 12 FUCKING DOLLARS!!! MY PITCHER OF BEER WAS 6 BUCKS MORE!!!
Its soft, creamy white, with a double breasted collar...I know why don't I just show you!??!
its the one in grey, but mine is creamy delicious white.
AND SOFT.
AND 12 DOLLARS!
I was so warm last night, it was toasty.
Oh and I discovered I can share a pitcher of beer with one person and not get drunk anymore...I don't know what that says about me or my drinking these days, but gods damn. GODS DAMN.
Oh, and I got laid. All Night Long. I am exhausted, a little hungover and wearing my new sweater.
HAH, oh gods.
It was nice to go out for a bit, chill, and just hang out, nothing special, no pretenses, no expectations, just fun. FUN. Stress-free FUN. It was epic.
Anyway, February being normally fuck-butting cold, was delightfully balmy yesterday, so I was only wearing a light sweater when I went to my friends the night before, for some post-break-up cuddles, and not being bright, realized that once the sun-goes down it's COLD again. SO I was fucked cause I knew I'd be out late, in a light fall sweater, freezing. So desperate times call for desperate measures and I went to Gap.
Me and Gap have this love hate relationship. They hate to sell clothes that fit me, I hate to shop there, but I love their sales. I mean, I LOVE their sales, I don't know if its like a gap sale spidey sense, but I can go in, find the ONE item on the rack that fits me, and is marked down 98% but I do. Everytime. Case in point. Last night. $90 dollar angora wool blend, marked down to $11.99.
12 DOLLARS FOR AN ANGORA WOOL SWEATER PEOPLE!! 12 FUCKING DOLLARS!!! MY PITCHER OF BEER WAS 6 BUCKS MORE!!!
Its soft, creamy white, with a double breasted collar...I know why don't I just show you!??!
its the one in grey, but mine is creamy delicious white.
AND SOFT.
AND 12 DOLLARS!
I was so warm last night, it was toasty.
Oh and I discovered I can share a pitcher of beer with one person and not get drunk anymore...I don't know what that says about me or my drinking these days, but gods damn. GODS DAMN.
Oh, and I got laid. All Night Long. I am exhausted, a little hungover and wearing my new sweater.
HAH, oh gods.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
New Do
This was originally suppose to be for facebook but the new plug-ins suck and well, I can't be bothered to wait.
I got a cut and style yesterday, three inches of ratty dead curls and bangs! BANGS!! I'm rocking the mother-flippin' bangs!!
Personally I think I look HAAAWT, but I'm waiting on feeback from people other then my co-workers.
And yes this means I wussed out on my mohawk, what can I say, I've grown attached to my luscious curls.
.....
-waits-
I got a cut and style yesterday, three inches of ratty dead curls and bangs! BANGS!! I'm rocking the mother-flippin' bangs!!
Personally I think I look HAAAWT, but I'm waiting on feeback from people other then my co-workers.
And yes this means I wussed out on my mohawk, what can I say, I've grown attached to my luscious curls.
.....
-waits-
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Quote
Painting is the true love of my life, its the only thing that I've loved and been passionate for that hasn't broken my heart. - Me
Monday, January 11, 2010
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Miles a Minute and Going Nowhere fast
I hate this feeling I am feeling right now, its senseless, and invalid, but at the same time, I'm feeling it and its very real. Very tangible. Very not nice.
Green-eyed monsters haunt me while I slay demons of the past and dream of new fears.
Green-eyed monsters haunt me while I slay demons of the past and dream of new fears.
Monday, January 4, 2010
ART BLOG!!
Something I did to get away from elfquest over the last couple of months, a piece for Jane's World, of Darcy and Patty, ex's of Jane and Eli who come together with plans to split up the couple but end up together...SPOILED...oh well, its a nice piece. Will get around to colouring it soon.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Challenge Attack
Well I worked my ass off last night, and most of today to catch up on where I should be, and of course, I'm going to miss tomorrow's posting too, so I'll make it up to you guys (ie Beth and the Dude) when I get back to my tablet.
Happy New Year!!!
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Just Sayin' Part 1
I've picked up this wicked phrase that seems to result in any conversation ending with a sardonic snort and a nod of derision from both parties.
"Just sayin'."
Example: If you are going to try to make a point, or an argument, and you can't back it up, you need to shut your gob. Just sayin'.
See? It works right? Next time you're having a conversation with someone and you really want to end the conversation without crushing anyone's tender feeling's throw on a 'Just sayin'.' in there, and watch what happens. It's hilarious. You're partner will get this perplexed glaze in their eyes, snort or snicker and nod. It's hilarious. And it creates the best way to move onto a new subject.
I've been using this quite a bit and I find that it really helps me feel like I'm contributing to a real conversation, just sayin'.
Really I came on here tonight to run my mouth off about a certain way a certain friend has been treating me this last couple of months, and it seems to be a cycle with us and I'm just sayin' (hah it works in the middle of a sentence too) that it's pissing me off. If you're going to go all anti-social and hob-nob with idiots and leave behind people, don't be expecting them (i.e. me) to bend over-backwards to be all sociable with you again. Really, I'm not a tool you can't just go about using me for your own amusement. Either we're friends and we stick it together, or fuck off and let me do my own thing without being involved in your own hopped up drama that you go searching for yourself. Honestly it gets old, and it gets old real fast-like, and you know when you go asking for advice that is perfectly sound and reasonable, and you ignore it, don't fucking ask for the advice, cause its a waste of time.
I hate that I know I sound like a bitch, but really, there is not point in farting about. Suck it up, cause I ain't your momma and I ain't going to sugar coat it for you.
Just sayin'.
"Just sayin'."
Example: If you are going to try to make a point, or an argument, and you can't back it up, you need to shut your gob. Just sayin'.
See? It works right? Next time you're having a conversation with someone and you really want to end the conversation without crushing anyone's tender feeling's throw on a 'Just sayin'.' in there, and watch what happens. It's hilarious. You're partner will get this perplexed glaze in their eyes, snort or snicker and nod. It's hilarious. And it creates the best way to move onto a new subject.
I've been using this quite a bit and I find that it really helps me feel like I'm contributing to a real conversation, just sayin'.
Really I came on here tonight to run my mouth off about a certain way a certain friend has been treating me this last couple of months, and it seems to be a cycle with us and I'm just sayin' (hah it works in the middle of a sentence too) that it's pissing me off. If you're going to go all anti-social and hob-nob with idiots and leave behind people, don't be expecting them (i.e. me) to bend over-backwards to be all sociable with you again. Really, I'm not a tool you can't just go about using me for your own amusement. Either we're friends and we stick it together, or fuck off and let me do my own thing without being involved in your own hopped up drama that you go searching for yourself. Honestly it gets old, and it gets old real fast-like, and you know when you go asking for advice that is perfectly sound and reasonable, and you ignore it, don't fucking ask for the advice, cause its a waste of time.
I hate that I know I sound like a bitch, but really, there is not point in farting about. Suck it up, cause I ain't your momma and I ain't going to sugar coat it for you.
Just sayin'.
two days late and guilty as hell
Well, shortly after posting my art challenge, I went over to the dude's place and became part of the scenery, leaving my computer and this challenge in the dust....
apologies all around...
anyway the first of a lot of colour...
apologies all around...
anyway the first of a lot of colour...
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Strange Moods
I find myself in a strange mood this afternoon, actually this entire month my moods have been rather dynamic. I really feel the need to chew people out, I feel like I have a storm inside me brewing and its waiting for a release.
Really this is more for my own benefit and not my readers, so please don't take any of this to heart, I'm just running my mouth off mostly in hopes that I can settle the dark seas that seem to be feeding my storm.
I have this one line in my head and its been driving me crazy, I write it down and it sounds wrong, but I say in my head and it sounds right. If this is the cause of my trepidation and discord, I'm going to be sorely unamused, I write my best when I'm at unrest (and I really didn't mean to rhyme that, it just came out that way...again, I'm running myself off in hopes to quell this disturbance I feel...)
Crows in flight, play and mock, cry out 'join us, join us, there is freedom here' and I can't, my heart weighs heavily and I cry as they fly on, diving and swooping, I've been forgotten already.
I think what bothers me the most is I'm actually quite happy, I'm almost giddy at times, and just when I let myself enjoy that giddiness, something dark and troublesome comes and takes it away. I'm glad this year is nearly over, I really am. I have great hopes for 2010 and I want to cast off 2009 like an old snake skin and move on fresh and new. I ache for it. Too carry on that metaphor, I am itching to sleuth off my old skin, the old dry scales and feel fresh new air on bright and shiny skin.
Does any of this make sense to you? I know I'm baffled...I'm going to wake up the dude and see if he can put a smile on my face...
sorry hunny for ruining your nap...I'll make it up to you somehow...maybe with a smile
Really this is more for my own benefit and not my readers, so please don't take any of this to heart, I'm just running my mouth off mostly in hopes that I can settle the dark seas that seem to be feeding my storm.
I have this one line in my head and its been driving me crazy, I write it down and it sounds wrong, but I say in my head and it sounds right. If this is the cause of my trepidation and discord, I'm going to be sorely unamused, I write my best when I'm at unrest (and I really didn't mean to rhyme that, it just came out that way...again, I'm running myself off in hopes to quell this disturbance I feel...)
Crows in flight, play and mock, cry out 'join us, join us, there is freedom here' and I can't, my heart weighs heavily and I cry as they fly on, diving and swooping, I've been forgotten already.
I think what bothers me the most is I'm actually quite happy, I'm almost giddy at times, and just when I let myself enjoy that giddiness, something dark and troublesome comes and takes it away. I'm glad this year is nearly over, I really am. I have great hopes for 2010 and I want to cast off 2009 like an old snake skin and move on fresh and new. I ache for it. Too carry on that metaphor, I am itching to sleuth off my old skin, the old dry scales and feel fresh new air on bright and shiny skin.
Does any of this make sense to you? I know I'm baffled...I'm going to wake up the dude and see if he can put a smile on my face...
sorry hunny for ruining your nap...I'll make it up to you somehow...maybe with a smile
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Special Gift
I should wait till tomorrow to post this, but I couldn't help myself :P
Jane and Eli, sharing a smoke and cuddle...ignore the anatomy issues, too lazy to fix them, I've already spent...9 hours on this already just on the line work. O_____O
Jane and Eli, sharing a smoke and cuddle...ignore the anatomy issues, too lazy to fix them, I've already spent...9 hours on this already just on the line work. O_____O
Art Challenge Day 1
Two pieces for you lot,
the first one...some high elf type chick.
the second, a piece of a larger piece that I will be working on throughout the week.
fuck yah.
I will figure out jumps eventually.
the first one...some high elf type chick.
the second, a piece of a larger piece that I will be working on throughout the week.
fuck yah.
I will figure out jumps eventually.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Art, art, art, blog, art, blog about art
ZOMGLES!!
Well, since rededicating myself to my blog, I've come to an crossroads. Exactly wtf should I blog about? Sure, a blog about Yve is nice and narcissistic, but lets face it, I'm really not all that interesting, otherwise (here it comes guys, the weekly dig at my friends) more people would comment on my (please note heavy sarcasm) well thought out entries.
I have stuck to my rule about trying to post once a week minimum, and of course I've stopped posting (almost entirely) on facebook, leaving all my juicy squidbits to my blog, or at least...the crap that isn't total crap,... anyway, randomly sliding off topic, I am trying fruitfully not to loose my shit and find a decent theme for my blog, so wtf, since I've been ASSTASTICALLY successful at joining an amazing art community (thank you marcus!!) and getting more shows then I am prepared for (fuck) I'm going to turn this next week challenge into an art challenge.
Mostly because my beautiful, gorgeous, delicious tablet has been sitting ignored for the last month, I'm going to (do what I can) about reading tutorials and attempting one piece of art a day. For the next week.
-groans- this falls under the old conversation I would have, inevitably, in the middle of an art crisis I've brought on myself with my friend;
Yve: Why do I do this to myself? Pick some huge challenging piece I know I can't ever possibly finish, and attempt it? Why?
Friend: Because you love to torment yourself, it's what you do.
Yve: You aren't helping, you know.
Friend: Of course not, you brought this on yourself, shut the fuck up and finish it. You know when it's done its going to rock, so stfu and do it.
Yve: You're a bitch.
Friend: I love you too.
So with that said...I am not quite finished working on today's piece because well...it dawned on me half way through starting it, this whole challenging myself to draw on my tablet would be a great idea to get me back in the swing of things...
and because I am so fucking bored, I had to do something to entertain myself...
this will be of course, around painting too...seeing as I've bought four FUCKING huge canvases today (thanks to the dude for driving me out to X-cess Cargo)
...
Back to work fuckers.
ps. Beth has a blog now. Check her out, Canadian Fast Food
pps. Tomatoes are evil fruit.
Well, since rededicating myself to my blog, I've come to an crossroads. Exactly wtf should I blog about? Sure, a blog about Yve is nice and narcissistic, but lets face it, I'm really not all that interesting, otherwise (here it comes guys, the weekly dig at my friends) more people would comment on my (please note heavy sarcasm) well thought out entries.
I have stuck to my rule about trying to post once a week minimum, and of course I've stopped posting (almost entirely) on facebook, leaving all my juicy squidbits to my blog, or at least...the crap that isn't total crap,... anyway, randomly sliding off topic, I am trying fruitfully not to loose my shit and find a decent theme for my blog, so wtf, since I've been ASSTASTICALLY successful at joining an amazing art community (thank you marcus!!) and getting more shows then I am prepared for (fuck) I'm going to turn this next week challenge into an art challenge.
Mostly because my beautiful, gorgeous, delicious tablet has been sitting ignored for the last month, I'm going to (do what I can) about reading tutorials and attempting one piece of art a day. For the next week.
-groans- this falls under the old conversation I would have, inevitably, in the middle of an art crisis I've brought on myself with my friend;
Yve: Why do I do this to myself? Pick some huge challenging piece I know I can't ever possibly finish, and attempt it? Why?
Friend: Because you love to torment yourself, it's what you do.
Yve: You aren't helping, you know.
Friend: Of course not, you brought this on yourself, shut the fuck up and finish it. You know when it's done its going to rock, so stfu and do it.
Yve: You're a bitch.
Friend: I love you too.
So with that said...I am not quite finished working on today's piece because well...it dawned on me half way through starting it, this whole challenging myself to draw on my tablet would be a great idea to get me back in the swing of things...
and because I am so fucking bored, I had to do something to entertain myself...
this will be of course, around painting too...seeing as I've bought four FUCKING huge canvases today (thanks to the dude for driving me out to X-cess Cargo)
...
Back to work fuckers.
ps. Beth has a blog now. Check her out, Canadian Fast Food
pps. Tomatoes are evil fruit.
Boxing Day Rain
I want to write this big long tirade on Christmas and how its lost its meaning behind the shopping craze, but instead, I'm just going to say stay off the fucking roads, its a damn ice-storm out there and stay home and get super drunk instead.
And plan what I am going to do with my giant canvases.
And plan what I am going to do with my giant canvases.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Cree Prophecy
I found this on one of my random blog hunts of late, I thought it was poignant and beautiful. I have to thank My Own Private Idaho for letting me repost it!
Only after the last tree is cut down,
The last of the water poisoned,
The last animal destroyed...
Only then will you realize you cannot eat money
So with that said,
Happy Birthday to The Dude, much love
Only after the last tree is cut down,
The last of the water poisoned,
The last animal destroyed...
Only then will you realize you cannot eat money
So with that said,
Happy Birthday to The Dude, much love
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