Inside my own little secret

I don't have many secrets, and the ones I do have, I'm pretty sure there is someone out there, who I have confided in, in a moment of revelation, and while I'm not ashamed of my secrets, I just enjoy having the few that I have to myself.

Am I going to reveal a secret to you? Probably a couple of times in the life time of my blog, I probably have already buried deep inside the various posts I've thrown in your direction. I think my biggest secret in blogging is that I like to speak to you as if we're in the midst of a conversation, you, the reader is always addressed and sometimes as few of my friends are even called out, in hopes that they read this and get a momentary thrill of being out there.

Right now, it feels as if my own little secrets are what is keeping me, me.
I have nothing really to make me feel not like me, but I find that the energy that was so obviously mine is lost now.

'Yve is always filled with energy' they say, or 'She's always so alive'

Honestly, I find myself to be very sluggish and take it as it is, so this energy, I know I have it, I'd have to be blind not to know, but is it really enough to warrant such statements?

This all feels very existential so to bring it back down, let me tell you what I made for dinner

Shepherds' Pie.

MMMM Shepherds' Pie!! Its been cold and snowing for two days, winter went and got itself in a big damn hurry and all I want to eat is hearty stick to your bones meals. Yesterday Curry Carrot Soup, today Shepherds' pie. Num-nums.

I started by boiling 5 medium potato's, while I chopped onions and carrots up and saute'd them in garlic and oil, adding in 2 lbs of ground beef, pepper, sage, thyme and a pinch of chili powder. I added red peppers, corn and green peas and stirred in a thick beef broth and 2 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce. I let that cook on low for about 20 minutes, while I mashed up the potatos with some butter and milk and squeeze of mustard for taste. Baked it for half an hour and mmmm stick to your bones goodness.

Yes, I cook, not often and but always well.

I feel stuffed. And existential. So thats my mood for this post.