Thursday, May 29, 2008
oh, the lulz must be shared.
A very dear friend of mine is going through a rough time right now, rough as in stressful to the max cause she's fighting with the father of her eldest son for custody, or well, as of tuesday WAS fighting for the custody of her son, and has won. YAY!
I'm a bad friend because I should be more well versed in the situation since I've known Ms. Pixie since my first day at Rideau high, and Mr. douchewater himself since probably my second week at said high school. We've been friends on and off for nearly 10 years, through some pretty stupid rash teenage angst and drama, we've pulled through enough that I love Ms. Pix like my own sisters, in fact, probably more...but we're not getting into that ball of wax, not yet anyway.
So, some time last year, douchewater himself, decides out of the blue he's going to take Pixie to court for joint custody of their son. Now, by all means, this sounds like a practical responsible thing to do as a father right.
WELL He decided to do it five years after the boy was born and has already established a father-son relationship with Pix's fiance. And I know I'm going to come off sounding like the protective bestfriend of the mom, but really, if you knew douchewater, you'd be on Pixies' side too.
Why? Douchewater is a chronic liar, drug use, shlep, worthless lay about. I mean really, he's spent the last five years living on the street. Yah, of his own free will. He doesn't have any conditions that would stop him from working or being a responsible adult other then the fact that he's lazy and couldn't help himself let alone try to take care of his son (as well as the fact that up until last year, douchewater has said on many occasion that he wanted nothing to do with his son, or the mother of one of his many children). This, though sad for the little bear, is probably a good thing, I know if douchewater was my old man, I'd shun him. SHUN!!
Examples of his lies is, Pixie use to beat him up, he was abducted by aliens, ninja's were out to kill him, the bikers were after him, he's gotten implants from the government to monitor his actions, he accused his father of some pretty hienous acts, more recently he has graduated from college, (he didn't even graduate from high school). These are just the lies I can remember, I'm sure if we asked Pixie to speak up, she'd go one for days.
Yah.
-blinks- I shit you not.
So finally the day comes that they're in court again, so he could fight for visitation rights, lying to the judge that he wasn't allowed to see his son since january, etc, etc, etc and when Pix contested his right to visitations, he changed his mind and told the judge he was okay with Shawna having full custody and visitation rights. Why the change of tune? Because he's joining the army. But he also has cancer, and Pixies' fiance put a hit out on him. (Pixies' fiance is easily the nicest most respectful man I've ever met, I can be pretty cynical and hateful when it comes to men, because I've seen alot of really crazy shit, but this guy, he deserves Man of the Year, Man of the Millenium. I've said it to his face, I really respect him, and I can only pray I end with a guy as great as this man is. Honestly girls, he's damn near perfect. And Ms. Pixie REALLY deserves a man like him.)
Yah.
This comes not two or three weeks after his last visit with the little bear where he showed up late, and high on E.
Yah.
I'm telling you when Pixie told me what he did in court, I fucking laughed. And laughed. And laughed.
I laughed because, its really sad and pathetic how this man thinks and acts, I mean really I can't think of ONE time he's ever been honest. And I've tried, I have tried to take douchewater serious, to try to get him help (because obviously something is wrong with his mind) and I've tried to remain neutral to hating him, I really have. But there is only so far a person can go before the empathy is shut off and you become totally apathic to a person of his persuasion.
I am so proud of Pixie for all the crap she's dealt with because of him and her having full rights to dictate what douchewater does around her son (cause lets face it, I've only told you a scant beginnings of this guys inadequacy as a father and a human being) I am really truly impressed with the court system.
YAY PIXIE!!
I love you girl!!
I'm a bad friend because I should be more well versed in the situation since I've known Ms. Pixie since my first day at Rideau high, and Mr. douchewater himself since probably my second week at said high school. We've been friends on and off for nearly 10 years, through some pretty stupid rash teenage angst and drama, we've pulled through enough that I love Ms. Pix like my own sisters, in fact, probably more...but we're not getting into that ball of wax, not yet anyway.
So, some time last year, douchewater himself, decides out of the blue he's going to take Pixie to court for joint custody of their son. Now, by all means, this sounds like a practical responsible thing to do as a father right.
WELL He decided to do it five years after the boy was born and has already established a father-son relationship with Pix's fiance. And I know I'm going to come off sounding like the protective bestfriend of the mom, but really, if you knew douchewater, you'd be on Pixies' side too.
Why? Douchewater is a chronic liar, drug use, shlep, worthless lay about. I mean really, he's spent the last five years living on the street. Yah, of his own free will. He doesn't have any conditions that would stop him from working or being a responsible adult other then the fact that he's lazy and couldn't help himself let alone try to take care of his son (as well as the fact that up until last year, douchewater has said on many occasion that he wanted nothing to do with his son, or the mother of one of his many children). This, though sad for the little bear, is probably a good thing, I know if douchewater was my old man, I'd shun him. SHUN!!
Examples of his lies is, Pixie use to beat him up, he was abducted by aliens, ninja's were out to kill him, the bikers were after him, he's gotten implants from the government to monitor his actions, he accused his father of some pretty hienous acts, more recently he has graduated from college, (he didn't even graduate from high school). These are just the lies I can remember, I'm sure if we asked Pixie to speak up, she'd go one for days.
Yah.
-blinks- I shit you not.
So finally the day comes that they're in court again, so he could fight for visitation rights, lying to the judge that he wasn't allowed to see his son since january, etc, etc, etc and when Pix contested his right to visitations, he changed his mind and told the judge he was okay with Shawna having full custody and visitation rights. Why the change of tune? Because he's joining the army. But he also has cancer, and Pixies' fiance put a hit out on him. (Pixies' fiance is easily the nicest most respectful man I've ever met, I can be pretty cynical and hateful when it comes to men, because I've seen alot of really crazy shit, but this guy, he deserves Man of the Year, Man of the Millenium. I've said it to his face, I really respect him, and I can only pray I end with a guy as great as this man is. Honestly girls, he's damn near perfect. And Ms. Pixie REALLY deserves a man like him.)
Yah.
This comes not two or three weeks after his last visit with the little bear where he showed up late, and high on E.
Yah.
I'm telling you when Pixie told me what he did in court, I fucking laughed. And laughed. And laughed.
I laughed because, its really sad and pathetic how this man thinks and acts, I mean really I can't think of ONE time he's ever been honest. And I've tried, I have tried to take douchewater serious, to try to get him help (because obviously something is wrong with his mind) and I've tried to remain neutral to hating him, I really have. But there is only so far a person can go before the empathy is shut off and you become totally apathic to a person of his persuasion.
I am so proud of Pixie for all the crap she's dealt with because of him and her having full rights to dictate what douchewater does around her son (cause lets face it, I've only told you a scant beginnings of this guys inadequacy as a father and a human being) I am really truly impressed with the court system.
YAY PIXIE!!
I love you girl!!
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
New Look!
What!!
Seriously, what do you guys think? Its' mmm very nice.
Yah I went with a template supplied by blogger. :P
Seriously, what do you guys think? Its' mmm very nice.
Yah I went with a template supplied by blogger. :P
Sunday, May 25, 2008
A Look Through Part 5
I had too much fun with the last entry, I went a little crazy so I decided to wrap up the tour of my room instead of waiting a couple more days.
Ready for probably the most boring three pictures ever?? I know I am!!
OKAY right off the bat. I had more pictures I don't where they went, but they were all detailed images of the stuff that slightly out of frame or has great importance to me. Like my Alter, and the Beatles poster you can only see a corner off in the top of this frame.
Here we go.
My buddhist shelf, buddhism opened my eyes to the religions of the world cause when I was in China, well, I saw alot of ancient temples, and shrines to this world known...is he a deity?...okay person of myths and legends...this particular buddha I have on my shelf comes from Tibet, it was gift to an ex from his uncle, who did alot of travelling. I'm not sure how he got into Tibet, or out of it with this buddha, but its hand carved and fucking gorgeous. I love it, I wash it frequently to keep the dust off it and I pray to him when I'm asking for selfless things (like helping a sick friend, or when the world is particularily shitty). Beside him is a little clay incense burner I was given by Nurse Tickler back in our hay-day when she went to Europe to visit family. It comes from holland is a snail shell sitting inside a clam shell. Next to THAT is my candle from Doozy Candles in Chelsea QC. I bought it Bluesfest last year and when I burn it it smells like apples, its also refillable so when I burn all the wick, I can go up to Chelsea and get it refilled (hopefully with more apple scented wax). Behind it are two boxes of Nag Champa, one the blue one, is actually a knock off variety, Agarbatti, which doesn't use real Nag Champa spices to scent the incense by a combination of others that smell like chocolate chip cookies. I learned this when I was OKC at the occult store in the Paseo, when I found (and bought) the REAL Nag Champa from Shanthimalai, and as I learned the proceeds go to training widows in Tamil Nadu, south india, the traditional way of rolling incense sticks. I felt very proud when I bought it, like I was doing something to help the women of India (who suffer obscene abouts of atrocities committed by their families.) I find I actually prefer the real stuff of the Agarbatti variety, its a richer, headier scent and when I smell it, I think of DSG cause we burned it while we were together. I get all nostalgic when I smell it. The blue shelf itself was left behind by my sister Jessica when she moved to T.O. On it hand my leather belts on one hook, my blue pashmina scarf, by purple hippie scarf from Claire's and my white pashmina, (you can't see the black one cause I was washing it and my red one was stolen by my mother. She does that. She's almost as bad with scarves as I am.
Remember how I was telling you about you getting to see more butterflies?! Those are the pride and joy of my collection, three varieties of Papilio's (LOL latin for Butterflies, but the actual genus term for them as well). The top is my Papilio Ulysses Ulysses, my parents gave it to my for my 25th birthday (YAY!) beneath it is my Papilio Palinurus the first of many butterflies I have recieved (this one was from Shawn on my 24th birthday) and beneath it is my Papilio Charaxes Smaragdalis, my birthday present to myself on my 25th. You can't tell by the Palinurus is actually nearly entirely green with yellow eyespots, and the Charaxes is banded blue on both upper and lower wings with white speckles on the tops of the top wings. What you don't see is the Beatles poster, all four Beatles, in a narrow panels over-bossed with the word REVOLUTION. Bought that for ten bucks. Its a fucking steal.
MY DRUM!!!!!
The mirrow, the white shelf and the white cardboard are all stuff that is waiting to be moved to the basement, or used for an art project.
And my drum, in the very first surong I ever owned that I hand-sewn into a drum-bag with a terry cloth towel lining. -is smug- hand sewn people. ( I later reinforced it with a sewing machine)The wires are my network cable for the computer, and my power cord for my fishtank.
Lastly, my Mucha calendar, yes I know we're the tale end of May, and my calendar is of April, but thats when the picture was taken. Shut up. Normally I have my work schedule, events and dates written down on my calendar but being unemployed and unsocial, I got lax with it. As a result, I miscounted my period start date (nearly DIED thinking I was knocked up) what days I fed Kaa on (which is ALWAYS fun when you have to stick your hand in a tank with a snake who hasn't been fed in two weeks). So I can tell you I was on the fucking BALL when May started.
If could find the rest of the close up shots I took I'd show them too you too, but I have NO clue where they are. and For that I apologize. You're aren't missing much.
New additions to my room include a marble goblet for my alter, my yellow orchid, I have put my closet door back on (sans door knob as it was thrown out (why I don't know but it was)) and my bedroom door now has a doorknob complete with locking mechanism!! SUCCESS!! I now hang my chinese good luck charm on the said doorknob and I have a little metal sign from Ren (and then some) that sez 'The Witch Is In'. I fucking love it. Also, a new addition to my window is a champagne glass doubling as a vase for freshly (stolen) picked Lily of the Valley flowers. I'm getting more tonight. :D
My drum is now kept where my garbage bin is, the bin is beside my dresser and the door (so I will empty it as it fills) I have replaced my MONSTROUS monitor with a smaller one and a smaller chair opposed to the equally monstrous black leather one. I am debating switching them again as this one is hard and doesn't allow my to slouch, or rest my elbows on anything. Also. Its ugly and doesn't roll...hm... now I am debating the little chair vs. the large chair, more space vs. comfort.
I hope you liked my room. I know I do!!
Ready for probably the most boring three pictures ever?? I know I am!!
OKAY right off the bat. I had more pictures I don't where they went, but they were all detailed images of the stuff that slightly out of frame or has great importance to me. Like my Alter, and the Beatles poster you can only see a corner off in the top of this frame.
Here we go.
My buddhist shelf, buddhism opened my eyes to the religions of the world cause when I was in China, well, I saw alot of ancient temples, and shrines to this world known...is he a deity?...okay person of myths and legends...this particular buddha I have on my shelf comes from Tibet, it was gift to an ex from his uncle, who did alot of travelling. I'm not sure how he got into Tibet, or out of it with this buddha, but its hand carved and fucking gorgeous. I love it, I wash it frequently to keep the dust off it and I pray to him when I'm asking for selfless things (like helping a sick friend, or when the world is particularily shitty). Beside him is a little clay incense burner I was given by Nurse Tickler back in our hay-day when she went to Europe to visit family. It comes from holland is a snail shell sitting inside a clam shell. Next to THAT is my candle from Doozy Candles in Chelsea QC. I bought it Bluesfest last year and when I burn it it smells like apples, its also refillable so when I burn all the wick, I can go up to Chelsea and get it refilled (hopefully with more apple scented wax). Behind it are two boxes of Nag Champa, one the blue one, is actually a knock off variety, Agarbatti, which doesn't use real Nag Champa spices to scent the incense by a combination of others that smell like chocolate chip cookies. I learned this when I was OKC at the occult store in the Paseo, when I found (and bought) the REAL Nag Champa from Shanthimalai, and as I learned the proceeds go to training widows in Tamil Nadu, south india, the traditional way of rolling incense sticks. I felt very proud when I bought it, like I was doing something to help the women of India (who suffer obscene abouts of atrocities committed by their families.) I find I actually prefer the real stuff of the Agarbatti variety, its a richer, headier scent and when I smell it, I think of DSG cause we burned it while we were together. I get all nostalgic when I smell it. The blue shelf itself was left behind by my sister Jessica when she moved to T.O. On it hand my leather belts on one hook, my blue pashmina scarf, by purple hippie scarf from Claire's and my white pashmina, (you can't see the black one cause I was washing it and my red one was stolen by my mother. She does that. She's almost as bad with scarves as I am.
Remember how I was telling you about you getting to see more butterflies?! Those are the pride and joy of my collection, three varieties of Papilio's (LOL latin for Butterflies, but the actual genus term for them as well). The top is my Papilio Ulysses Ulysses, my parents gave it to my for my 25th birthday (YAY!) beneath it is my Papilio Palinurus the first of many butterflies I have recieved (this one was from Shawn on my 24th birthday) and beneath it is my Papilio Charaxes Smaragdalis, my birthday present to myself on my 25th. You can't tell by the Palinurus is actually nearly entirely green with yellow eyespots, and the Charaxes is banded blue on both upper and lower wings with white speckles on the tops of the top wings. What you don't see is the Beatles poster, all four Beatles, in a narrow panels over-bossed with the word REVOLUTION. Bought that for ten bucks. Its a fucking steal.
MY DRUM!!!!!
The mirrow, the white shelf and the white cardboard are all stuff that is waiting to be moved to the basement, or used for an art project.
And my drum, in the very first surong I ever owned that I hand-sewn into a drum-bag with a terry cloth towel lining. -is smug- hand sewn people. ( I later reinforced it with a sewing machine)The wires are my network cable for the computer, and my power cord for my fishtank.
Lastly, my Mucha calendar, yes I know we're the tale end of May, and my calendar is of April, but thats when the picture was taken. Shut up. Normally I have my work schedule, events and dates written down on my calendar but being unemployed and unsocial, I got lax with it. As a result, I miscounted my period start date (nearly DIED thinking I was knocked up) what days I fed Kaa on (which is ALWAYS fun when you have to stick your hand in a tank with a snake who hasn't been fed in two weeks). So I can tell you I was on the fucking BALL when May started.
If could find the rest of the close up shots I took I'd show them too you too, but I have NO clue where they are. and For that I apologize. You're aren't missing much.
New additions to my room include a marble goblet for my alter, my yellow orchid, I have put my closet door back on (sans door knob as it was thrown out (why I don't know but it was)) and my bedroom door now has a doorknob complete with locking mechanism!! SUCCESS!! I now hang my chinese good luck charm on the said doorknob and I have a little metal sign from Ren (and then some) that sez 'The Witch Is In'. I fucking love it. Also, a new addition to my window is a champagne glass doubling as a vase for freshly (stolen) picked Lily of the Valley flowers. I'm getting more tonight. :D
My drum is now kept where my garbage bin is, the bin is beside my dresser and the door (so I will empty it as it fills) I have replaced my MONSTROUS monitor with a smaller one and a smaller chair opposed to the equally monstrous black leather one. I am debating switching them again as this one is hard and doesn't allow my to slouch, or rest my elbows on anything. Also. Its ugly and doesn't roll...hm... now I am debating the little chair vs. the large chair, more space vs. comfort.
I hope you liked my room. I know I do!!
A Look Through Part 4
Here it is again folks, an intimate look inside the room of Yve. I've said this before (and if I haven't forgive me I am a burn out) that this room is my apartment within a house, I could so choose to have a hot plate or at least a kettle for soup and tea (really, that and trail mix and I'm frickin' set) but I don't because my parents would have a combined anurism and die bleeding out from their ears if I horded anymore dishes in my room. What can I say, its my home within my home. ANYWAY. I am starting this entry off on a bit of a sad start. Why?
An empty set of frames people. Brown pressed card stare out like unblinding judging eyes at me. Why is it empty? I bought this when I was employed at Stokes with the intention of putting film pictures in it from my trip to OKC. I've yet to recieve ANY images from DSG's end. SO. It sits. Waiting. Empty. Staring at me accusingly. I hate empty frames. I really do. DSG. Get your shit together and send me some damn photos. Please. -smoochies-
The frame beside it is a card I bought MANY moons ago called In Cathedrals of the Forest by Stephanie Puiman Law. Her watercolours are stunning. If you have the time, go look her up and...well here, I'll do you a favour... In Cathedrals of the Forest I blatantly nicked the frame from my mom years ago and had it squirrelled away, and then had said card squirrelled away and one day, sitting down at the kitchen table, I realized, HOLY SHIT! They're perfect for each other. Since then, its been in my room. It has blue butterflies in it. Guess why I love it so much.
My bedroom window. It looks out into the little alley between my house and the neighbours, a cherry tree of some persuasion is the main view and the neighbours asian style garden is most definitely in sight when I'm having a toke, hanging out the window. Most of my bedding is blue, my blanket, my pillow cases and my top sheet are all blue-grey or blue, and I have four pillows of various sizes on my bed, only one of them isn't sewn and stuffed by me. You can see my curtain is actually a bright yellow and orange surong (I hate conventional blinds) it has fish and ying-yang symbols silk screened on it. About a month before I took this series of pictures I bought a BRIGHT yellow bottom sheet for my bed, and I had originally a soft pink, green and blue surong hanging in my window, but it just didn't set the mood right in my room, so when I was at St. Vincents looking for cheap summer threads I found the surong you see for sale for a buck. A fucking quality Alma surong made of rayon, possibly the best material for summer in Ottawa, in the same colour as my bottom sheet. WHAT!! matching window dressing for my bedding?! FUCK YAH! Left to right are my witch-balls, I've been collecting over the last three years, the big red and clear on I bought in Salem MA. when I went with Shawn. We spent the entire trip looking for a witch ball that wasn't over priced and not putrid green or shit brown and I had a choice between this one or a baby pink and yellow one. I picked this one cause the red reminded me of blood. Morbid but true. We drive ALL the way home from the coast to Ottawa and I unpack it to find a little clear sticker on it that said 'Made in Merrickville, Canada.' about an hour away from where I live. I nearly cried. The irony. The next pink and red one, I bought the same time as the little blue one cause they were SUPER fucking cheap at the Art Deco place in St. Laurent. The purple and pink one in the middle I bought from Hallmark for reasons, I can't remember. The tiny pink frosted one on the end I was given from the DSG while I was in OKC. We had gone to see the Chihuly exhibit at the OKC Museum of Art and it was beautiful. I've never seen a frosted one before but its not etched it tiny bubbles and imperfections in the glass. Of all of them its my favourite.
Now its in the shadows, but its a ribbon wind-catcher I bought in the occult store while in the Paseo in OKC. It was like two bucks and fucking cute. If you're sharp you can see my giant KISS fm mug on my window sill. That mornings coffee.
ONWARDS!!! ok, so this is right beside my window, above the outside corner of my bed, and obvious, accounting for my fishtank, beside my bed.
Its a sad angle for the pictures but the three black frames were a birthday gift from my mom. How cute. Keeping the black theme rocking in my room! YAY! The top is the original photo of DSG's Cherry Blossoms, which is my large tattoo on my left shoulder (closest to my heart). Beneath that is a picture of him, out in his favourite park with his new staff (my influence people there people :P he's so pagan but he won't admit it). This was shortly after the ice storm in Oklahoma, that was actually declared a national disaster, in Canada, it would have qualified as a shitty drive to work for a couple days, okay maybe not as they did have power outages for days across the state and couple people died when they were out driving (why you would go driving in an ice storm in oklahoma when you KNOW you can't drive on wet, icy, unsalted roads is beyond me but they did and now...well. yah.) Beneath DSG is a picture he took for me at the Myriad Gardens of a giant mofo koi, people I was there, these things are four feet long. REALLY they are HUGE. Anyway, he knows I love koi, and he got the prettiest colour pateration out there, red on white. <3 fuck I love that man.
Above the fish tank is a birthday gift from my sister Jessica, I had asked for a papillo ulysses ulysses that year and she couldn't find it, but she did find the whip scorpion fighting a taranchula, and when she gave it to me, she said it was in memory of China. I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself. When we were younger we lived in China and we shared a room for the majority of our time there, not a day would go by that one of us would wake next to some steroid ridden insect of some sort or another. I appriciated the memories and put it beside my bed for just that reason. Thanks Jess. <3
Beneath that is my 5.5 gallon fish thank, as you can see the java moss has taken over. The blur of orange is my fish, Terrance. The blob of brown in the left top corner along the water line is one of my many (and I do mean MANY) snails. That would be D.N. II or III one of two of Dough-nuts offspring, my brazillian ramhorn snail. He died but his many (and I do really mean MANY) offspring continue to thrive on his memory. And the abundance of fucking java moss.
WHAT YOU DON'T SEE-->
In the corner of my window and wall is now a three and a half foot copper wind chime belonging to my parents that they didn't want hanging outside their room anymore. I COULD have hung it outside MY window but as I slept with it open at night, I didn't want to be kept awake by the chimes, so I hang it inside and open my windows very wide during the day. Its beautiful and on the pendulum that hangs down the center, on the very end is a copper pentagram. HENCE why I love it so much.
ALSO. I have recently acquired a little table from ikea where my fishtank now sits beside a little reading lamp and my phone dock for the second phone reciever. This was a piece of furniture that my brother had bought while living here and didn't take out when he moved into his girlfriends parents house. Apparently, when she saw that I was using it (not 8 months after they left) she bitched to my dad about it. He turned to her and said, 'you left it here for 8 months, had you left it in an apartment you actually rent, you'd never see it again. Be glad we didn't throw it and the rest of your shit out when you left it behind.' I have never been so proud to called my dad's daughter.
An empty set of frames people. Brown pressed card stare out like unblinding judging eyes at me. Why is it empty? I bought this when I was employed at Stokes with the intention of putting film pictures in it from my trip to OKC. I've yet to recieve ANY images from DSG's end. SO. It sits. Waiting. Empty. Staring at me accusingly. I hate empty frames. I really do. DSG. Get your shit together and send me some damn photos. Please. -smoochies-
The frame beside it is a card I bought MANY moons ago called In Cathedrals of the Forest by Stephanie Puiman Law. Her watercolours are stunning. If you have the time, go look her up and...well here, I'll do you a favour... In Cathedrals of the Forest I blatantly nicked the frame from my mom years ago and had it squirrelled away, and then had said card squirrelled away and one day, sitting down at the kitchen table, I realized, HOLY SHIT! They're perfect for each other. Since then, its been in my room. It has blue butterflies in it. Guess why I love it so much.
My bedroom window. It looks out into the little alley between my house and the neighbours, a cherry tree of some persuasion is the main view and the neighbours asian style garden is most definitely in sight when I'm having a toke, hanging out the window. Most of my bedding is blue, my blanket, my pillow cases and my top sheet are all blue-grey or blue, and I have four pillows of various sizes on my bed, only one of them isn't sewn and stuffed by me. You can see my curtain is actually a bright yellow and orange surong (I hate conventional blinds) it has fish and ying-yang symbols silk screened on it. About a month before I took this series of pictures I bought a BRIGHT yellow bottom sheet for my bed, and I had originally a soft pink, green and blue surong hanging in my window, but it just didn't set the mood right in my room, so when I was at St. Vincents looking for cheap summer threads I found the surong you see for sale for a buck. A fucking quality Alma surong made of rayon, possibly the best material for summer in Ottawa, in the same colour as my bottom sheet. WHAT!! matching window dressing for my bedding?! FUCK YAH! Left to right are my witch-balls, I've been collecting over the last three years, the big red and clear on I bought in Salem MA. when I went with Shawn. We spent the entire trip looking for a witch ball that wasn't over priced and not putrid green or shit brown and I had a choice between this one or a baby pink and yellow one. I picked this one cause the red reminded me of blood. Morbid but true. We drive ALL the way home from the coast to Ottawa and I unpack it to find a little clear sticker on it that said 'Made in Merrickville, Canada.' about an hour away from where I live. I nearly cried. The irony. The next pink and red one, I bought the same time as the little blue one cause they were SUPER fucking cheap at the Art Deco place in St. Laurent. The purple and pink one in the middle I bought from Hallmark for reasons, I can't remember. The tiny pink frosted one on the end I was given from the DSG while I was in OKC. We had gone to see the Chihuly exhibit at the OKC Museum of Art and it was beautiful. I've never seen a frosted one before but its not etched it tiny bubbles and imperfections in the glass. Of all of them its my favourite.
Now its in the shadows, but its a ribbon wind-catcher I bought in the occult store while in the Paseo in OKC. It was like two bucks and fucking cute. If you're sharp you can see my giant KISS fm mug on my window sill. That mornings coffee.
ONWARDS!!! ok, so this is right beside my window, above the outside corner of my bed, and obvious, accounting for my fishtank, beside my bed.
Its a sad angle for the pictures but the three black frames were a birthday gift from my mom. How cute. Keeping the black theme rocking in my room! YAY! The top is the original photo of DSG's Cherry Blossoms, which is my large tattoo on my left shoulder (closest to my heart). Beneath that is a picture of him, out in his favourite park with his new staff (my influence people there people :P he's so pagan but he won't admit it). This was shortly after the ice storm in Oklahoma, that was actually declared a national disaster, in Canada, it would have qualified as a shitty drive to work for a couple days, okay maybe not as they did have power outages for days across the state and couple people died when they were out driving (why you would go driving in an ice storm in oklahoma when you KNOW you can't drive on wet, icy, unsalted roads is beyond me but they did and now...well. yah.) Beneath DSG is a picture he took for me at the Myriad Gardens of a giant mofo koi, people I was there, these things are four feet long. REALLY they are HUGE. Anyway, he knows I love koi, and he got the prettiest colour pateration out there, red on white. <3 fuck I love that man.
Above the fish tank is a birthday gift from my sister Jessica, I had asked for a papillo ulysses ulysses that year and she couldn't find it, but she did find the whip scorpion fighting a taranchula, and when she gave it to me, she said it was in memory of China. I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself. When we were younger we lived in China and we shared a room for the majority of our time there, not a day would go by that one of us would wake next to some steroid ridden insect of some sort or another. I appriciated the memories and put it beside my bed for just that reason. Thanks Jess. <3
Beneath that is my 5.5 gallon fish thank, as you can see the java moss has taken over. The blur of orange is my fish, Terrance. The blob of brown in the left top corner along the water line is one of my many (and I do mean MANY) snails. That would be D.N. II or III one of two of Dough-nuts offspring, my brazillian ramhorn snail. He died but his many (and I do really mean MANY) offspring continue to thrive on his memory. And the abundance of fucking java moss.
WHAT YOU DON'T SEE-->
In the corner of my window and wall is now a three and a half foot copper wind chime belonging to my parents that they didn't want hanging outside their room anymore. I COULD have hung it outside MY window but as I slept with it open at night, I didn't want to be kept awake by the chimes, so I hang it inside and open my windows very wide during the day. Its beautiful and on the pendulum that hangs down the center, on the very end is a copper pentagram. HENCE why I love it so much.
ALSO. I have recently acquired a little table from ikea where my fishtank now sits beside a little reading lamp and my phone dock for the second phone reciever. This was a piece of furniture that my brother had bought while living here and didn't take out when he moved into his girlfriends parents house. Apparently, when she saw that I was using it (not 8 months after they left) she bitched to my dad about it. He turned to her and said, 'you left it here for 8 months, had you left it in an apartment you actually rent, you'd never see it again. Be glad we didn't throw it and the rest of your shit out when you left it behind.' I have never been so proud to called my dad's daughter.
Friday, May 23, 2008
100th Blog Entry!
Its been weeks in the making, I've been allowing myself to be held back by the fear of posting my 100th blog and not making it interesting enough for you all.
Well I'm not going to disappoint, and in the theme of my blog, being basically about nothing and everything and my opinions and finally accepting that I simply couldn't give a shit if I hurt someones feelings, I am going to post a monumental entry.
I hope.
Alright. Where to start, well my last post was a 100 facts about me, and it hasn't changed. I am still that crazy.
I am also still unemployed and rapidly growing more and more in debt. My stress levels are through the roof and I'm not sleeping at night. Ren, I know you don't care how little I sleep, but I do, and falling asleep half way through the afternoon isn't my ball of wax. I hate naps and I've been taking more and more of them because at night, laying in bed, I just can't sleep, I get to thinking about rent, and dog food, and snake food, and my art supplies, and my school loan, which gets me thinking about my school loan, and how much I hate my college and I hate the career I've choosen and I haven't even started to work as a paralegal but I already hate how dirty and underminded people are in this profession.
When I'm not thinking about that, I start to feel guilty because I'm worried I'm not caring for my pets properly and the guilt builds as I realize all the household bills lay in my moms lap cause me and my dad are unemployed and I slowly start to work myself into being wide awake at 3 am laying in bed wondering wtf I'm going to do.
I know what I want to do, but until I've got my debts in order, I can't do any of it. And the worst is, before all this happened, I went on the greatest trip of my life. I went to probably the most boring place a person could pick to go, but I went for all the wrong reasons, ( a guy ) and everything turned out marvelous. I came home, on an absolute high from my trip and discovering this relationship, I've been lucky enough to use it as a safety blanket when I start feeling low.
Which is another thing, bring home all the time makes a person go crazy. I can literally feel my self image dropping everyday I dont' get a job, because my sense of self-worth is just out the window not working and earning. I get stressed, I get guilty, I get depressed. I hate being depressed, its been building pretty much constantly since I came home from Toronto, and its really frustrating, you know when you KNOW something is happening to you, and yet no matter what you do, nothing can stop it from happening. Its still beating you down? I hate fighting I do, and thats what I'm doing, I'm waging an inner battle with myself and I can feel myself losing.
And then I start complaining and I really hate listening to people whine. Especially about situations they get themselves into without using thier brains in their heads. I mean, seriously how can you pretend to be so blind you don't see the shitty situation you're in? Is it because you're head is so far stuffed up your own ass you're can't see anything but your own petty disillusions? I mean really, you are all smart people, fucking use your heads.
As an example. I'm sharing a toke with my parents and we start talking about gas prices, and then we get stared talking about the economy, and food-wars, and the weather patterns and soon my dad is telling me that by the time I'm his age, we're going to be heading into the real global warming and we'll have no food because everyone thinks corn is going to save our ass, when all corn does is bleach the ground and turn it into desert, so we're going to have no rich soil cause all our farm land is being boughten up by governments to grow corn for ethonal. ETHOFUCKINGAL. CARS RUN ON ALCOHOL better then they run on gas or ethonal. Anyway he goes on his huge rant that starts to make sense in my head and I'm thinking and I realize he has a point and it saddens me because my dad, while being a great man in his own rights is a hermit and won't go out and tell people this, I see a cavalcade of fucking SUV's and Ubertrucks parked on my street.
I learn about a car company in Germaine Quebec that has designed and manufactures smart-electronic cars for under 5000$ canadian, and you AREN"T EVEN ALLOWED TO DRIVE THEM IN CANADA (well except B.C). Which brings me to another point, all of our hydro plants, and power plants are slowly rusting away and we're going to be facing not only a food crisis, but an energy crisis also, and people are shitting bricks about nuke-power. FUCK Yah, it;s dangerous cause all the nuke plants are fifty years old and seventy years out dated by technology, but if we had nuke plants that were updated and to code, at least we won't have worry about energy. Which brings me back to gas, I heard the other day that the major family...erm corporations were approached by a world body about the current price of gas, and that it was too high, and if they could all work to gether to fix out oil crisis, we might last another hundred years if america doesn't pick a fight with a country they can't handle. (Gods please, they aren't the biggest kids on the playground anymore, teach them to keep their fat traps shut!)
Anyway, the oil-mongerers said pretty much too bad, you made this bed, now lie in you fuckers.
In the mean time, American Idol is getting more fan response then the war over in afganistan and iraq. WTF PEOPLE. Does anyone even know whats going on ever there?
OKay, maybe some people do, but I don't and its freakin' me out, the war on terror, Al queda, Osama Bin Crazy-mofo, so what has anyone heard anything about the actual terrorists or are we just running around with our pants down? I think we are.
I try to stay updated but when all the media networks are more concerned that Paris Hilton wants to be knocked up in '09, I tend to ignore the news. Seriously. wtf. The world would be a better place if everyone in hollywood was piled into airtight shipping containers and dropped to the bottom of the deepest pit in the ocean. For one, we wouldn't have to deal with all the tripe coming out of hollywood these days...The Love Guru? You Don't Mess With The Zohan? WTF!! Two, all the money that DOES get spent on these stupid people, and these stupid movies might be spent on oh, I don't know, attempting to resolve the worlds issues by people actually going outside and LOOKING AROUND.
I know its a bit hypocritical of me to say this, as I am sat INDOORS at my computer, but on my defense I do go out, I do see the world, I listen, I watch and I am very very aware of how TRUELY fucked we are.
Also, I've put my sketchbook away, I have ONE picture I MUST finished for a friend, but after that I'm done. I can't do it anymore. I'm not even sure why, but I can't. On the upside. I'm writing, I have a couple dozen little poems I've written and I'm working on a story. Mostly for shits and giggles, but I'm loving it simply cause I just sit down and write and don't plot anything. HAH I hope you guys like it when I post it. :D
I do plan on finishing A Look Through, probably in the next day or two, but for anyone of you who like my blog, check out this thingy I have going, the button for Verveearth, as far as I can see, its google earth for blogs, its pretty cool, I have to start checking out my neighbours and see whats going on outside my bubble.
DSG? I love you!
Bish? When the hell are you getting back from Majorca? We misses you!
Ren? Wake up from your nap.
Rio? You're my lovely lady <3
Beth? You're awesome, make with the watercolours.
Vade? Stop fucking disappearing for days on end, and give us a fucking long post already!
And to everyone else? I know I'm crazy, but thats why you love me and keep coming back.
So was this post long enough for you? I hope so, I just heard the first rumble of thunder for this year, in canada, (I heard LOTS when I was in OKLAHOMA, that would be one reason why I would live in OKC, the fucking weather is REDONKULOUS...oh and DSG -nuzzles-)
OOOOH
And you all know how my dad is the orchid king? I totally outdid him, and got my hands on a yellow pepper phalaenopsis. he's always wanted a yellow orchid and now, I have my very own. Its got FOUR open blossoms and is very very very pretty. I love me some crazy parasite plants!
Also, they look like vagina's. HAHAH!!
Well I'm not going to disappoint, and in the theme of my blog, being basically about nothing and everything and my opinions and finally accepting that I simply couldn't give a shit if I hurt someones feelings, I am going to post a monumental entry.
I hope.
Alright. Where to start, well my last post was a 100 facts about me, and it hasn't changed. I am still that crazy.
I am also still unemployed and rapidly growing more and more in debt. My stress levels are through the roof and I'm not sleeping at night. Ren, I know you don't care how little I sleep, but I do, and falling asleep half way through the afternoon isn't my ball of wax. I hate naps and I've been taking more and more of them because at night, laying in bed, I just can't sleep, I get to thinking about rent, and dog food, and snake food, and my art supplies, and my school loan, which gets me thinking about my school loan, and how much I hate my college and I hate the career I've choosen and I haven't even started to work as a paralegal but I already hate how dirty and underminded people are in this profession.
When I'm not thinking about that, I start to feel guilty because I'm worried I'm not caring for my pets properly and the guilt builds as I realize all the household bills lay in my moms lap cause me and my dad are unemployed and I slowly start to work myself into being wide awake at 3 am laying in bed wondering wtf I'm going to do.
I know what I want to do, but until I've got my debts in order, I can't do any of it. And the worst is, before all this happened, I went on the greatest trip of my life. I went to probably the most boring place a person could pick to go, but I went for all the wrong reasons, ( a guy ) and everything turned out marvelous. I came home, on an absolute high from my trip and discovering this relationship, I've been lucky enough to use it as a safety blanket when I start feeling low.
Which is another thing, bring home all the time makes a person go crazy. I can literally feel my self image dropping everyday I dont' get a job, because my sense of self-worth is just out the window not working and earning. I get stressed, I get guilty, I get depressed. I hate being depressed, its been building pretty much constantly since I came home from Toronto, and its really frustrating, you know when you KNOW something is happening to you, and yet no matter what you do, nothing can stop it from happening. Its still beating you down? I hate fighting I do, and thats what I'm doing, I'm waging an inner battle with myself and I can feel myself losing.
And then I start complaining and I really hate listening to people whine. Especially about situations they get themselves into without using thier brains in their heads. I mean, seriously how can you pretend to be so blind you don't see the shitty situation you're in? Is it because you're head is so far stuffed up your own ass you're can't see anything but your own petty disillusions? I mean really, you are all smart people, fucking use your heads.
As an example. I'm sharing a toke with my parents and we start talking about gas prices, and then we get stared talking about the economy, and food-wars, and the weather patterns and soon my dad is telling me that by the time I'm his age, we're going to be heading into the real global warming and we'll have no food because everyone thinks corn is going to save our ass, when all corn does is bleach the ground and turn it into desert, so we're going to have no rich soil cause all our farm land is being boughten up by governments to grow corn for ethonal. ETHOFUCKINGAL. CARS RUN ON ALCOHOL better then they run on gas or ethonal. Anyway he goes on his huge rant that starts to make sense in my head and I'm thinking and I realize he has a point and it saddens me because my dad, while being a great man in his own rights is a hermit and won't go out and tell people this, I see a cavalcade of fucking SUV's and Ubertrucks parked on my street.
I learn about a car company in Germaine Quebec that has designed and manufactures smart-electronic cars for under 5000$ canadian, and you AREN"T EVEN ALLOWED TO DRIVE THEM IN CANADA (well except B.C). Which brings me to another point, all of our hydro plants, and power plants are slowly rusting away and we're going to be facing not only a food crisis, but an energy crisis also, and people are shitting bricks about nuke-power. FUCK Yah, it;s dangerous cause all the nuke plants are fifty years old and seventy years out dated by technology, but if we had nuke plants that were updated and to code, at least we won't have worry about energy. Which brings me back to gas, I heard the other day that the major family...erm corporations were approached by a world body about the current price of gas, and that it was too high, and if they could all work to gether to fix out oil crisis, we might last another hundred years if america doesn't pick a fight with a country they can't handle. (Gods please, they aren't the biggest kids on the playground anymore, teach them to keep their fat traps shut!)
Anyway, the oil-mongerers said pretty much too bad, you made this bed, now lie in you fuckers.
In the mean time, American Idol is getting more fan response then the war over in afganistan and iraq. WTF PEOPLE. Does anyone even know whats going on ever there?
OKay, maybe some people do, but I don't and its freakin' me out, the war on terror, Al queda, Osama Bin Crazy-mofo, so what has anyone heard anything about the actual terrorists or are we just running around with our pants down? I think we are.
I try to stay updated but when all the media networks are more concerned that Paris Hilton wants to be knocked up in '09, I tend to ignore the news. Seriously. wtf. The world would be a better place if everyone in hollywood was piled into airtight shipping containers and dropped to the bottom of the deepest pit in the ocean. For one, we wouldn't have to deal with all the tripe coming out of hollywood these days...The Love Guru? You Don't Mess With The Zohan? WTF!! Two, all the money that DOES get spent on these stupid people, and these stupid movies might be spent on oh, I don't know, attempting to resolve the worlds issues by people actually going outside and LOOKING AROUND.
I know its a bit hypocritical of me to say this, as I am sat INDOORS at my computer, but on my defense I do go out, I do see the world, I listen, I watch and I am very very aware of how TRUELY fucked we are.
Also, I've put my sketchbook away, I have ONE picture I MUST finished for a friend, but after that I'm done. I can't do it anymore. I'm not even sure why, but I can't. On the upside. I'm writing, I have a couple dozen little poems I've written and I'm working on a story. Mostly for shits and giggles, but I'm loving it simply cause I just sit down and write and don't plot anything. HAH I hope you guys like it when I post it. :D
I do plan on finishing A Look Through, probably in the next day or two, but for anyone of you who like my blog, check out this thingy I have going, the button for Verveearth, as far as I can see, its google earth for blogs, its pretty cool, I have to start checking out my neighbours and see whats going on outside my bubble.
DSG? I love you!
Bish? When the hell are you getting back from Majorca? We misses you!
Ren? Wake up from your nap.
Rio? You're my lovely lady <3
Beth? You're awesome, make with the watercolours.
Vade? Stop fucking disappearing for days on end, and give us a fucking long post already!
And to everyone else? I know I'm crazy, but thats why you love me and keep coming back.
So was this post long enough for you? I hope so, I just heard the first rumble of thunder for this year, in canada, (I heard LOTS when I was in OKLAHOMA, that would be one reason why I would live in OKC, the fucking weather is REDONKULOUS...oh and DSG -nuzzles-)
OOOOH
And you all know how my dad is the orchid king? I totally outdid him, and got my hands on a yellow pepper phalaenopsis. he's always wanted a yellow orchid and now, I have my very own. Its got FOUR open blossoms and is very very very pretty. I love me some crazy parasite plants!
Also, they look like vagina's. HAHAH!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
